Super Kid Skills - Safe Halloween - Mat Chat

Halloween - Trick or Treat - Safety.

Team Black Belt is closed this week  I thought I would give you my, Be Safe at Halloween - Mat Chat,  do do with as you please.







Stranger Danger

When was the last time you sent your children to go and knock on the door of strangers, May I respectfully suggest, never?  Most of the time, the normal, standard parental advice, is to be aware of strangers, not talk to them, and never to go onto the properties of strangers.

Except for on Halloween, where the ever growing trend is for parents to allow children to do exactly that,  wave them off to go on Trick or Treat missions, gathering sweets from total strangers around the neighbourhood and that, on the one night a year when the strangers can disguise their own identity with a mask or costume and be seen as someone just joining in the fun.

Clearly Trick or Treating, is something children enjoy, and should you allow your children to participate in  this type of activity, (you might get that I'm not to enthusiastic about it)  I have listed some considerations that you might like to share with your children, to help set some rules or guidelines, to make their experience a positive one.

With an Adult.

Firstly, Trick or Treating should only be done if they have a trusted adult with them.

An adult is not an older sister or brother but a fully grown, responsible person with children of their own. As many a parent will testify, even an older child (and I know I have three my self), can easily be duped or just get caught up with the party atmosphere and end up doing something stupid; (encouraging younger children past their comfort level, or to do something potentially dangerous or becoming involved in anti social behaviour, such as throwing eggs at people or property). So, please, a real adult.


In a Group.

Your children should always be part of a group, please tell them they never trick or treat alone.
They might just start on the way home from school, let them know this is not a good idea.






Be Seen

Road safety is a major cause for concern with excitable children's attention being taken by decorated houses and lanterns,

Here in Solihull the clocks are about to go back, so it is light at 6pm one day and dark at 6pm the next, car drivers are as unprepared for the change as your children may be, and many of the costumes worn are black from head to toe. Even drivers who aren't distracted  have less chance of seeing your child than normal. Please make sure your child has some kind of illumination, reflectors or even better, make sure that every one in the group carries a torch.

Plan the Route

It might be a good idea to ensure your children know the best route to take around the streets; up one side of the road then back down it is the best idea, not criss-crossing across the road back and forth from one house to another. If you can plan their route for them it means you will have a good idea of where your child is (assuming you are not with them).


Respect Others.

Make sure that your child understands that not all households wish to join in with trick or treating, and that the households that do usually have some sign of interest in the window, lanterns, pumpkins etc.

Older people in the community may find a gang children dressed as monsters and zombies arriving at the door to be truly frightening, or even just someone banging on their door after dark. If a house does not display an interest respect their wishes - no eggs or tricks, just leave them alone and move on to a house where trick or treat will be welcome.


Sweets.

Many of the treats your children will receive are sweets, encourage them not to eat them at the road side but to collect them and sort them when they get home, in the light. Never eat sweets that they don't recognise or do not come wrapped properly.  Remember not all adults play nicely.


Outside only.

Make sure they know that they are NEVER allowed to go into a strangers house, no matter what the stranger says. Trick or Treating is an outdoor activity only.

Fire

I know you don't want to set you child alight, its just that pumpkins with smiley faces, containing tea lights or candles are just so attractive.  Again it is likely, that, at no other time of the year are children exposed to so many open flames combined with costumes that waft about in the breeze. The danger there is very real.

Please tell them never to touch the pumpkins, pick them up carry them around, and don't forget to mention how much candle wax hurts if it drips onto your skin.



I am confident you and your child will have a great Halloween, but please give the some consideration to making sure the day is a safe one.


I wish you and your children, a fun and safe Halloween!


Sensei Mike

Click to go to Team Black Belt.

More of Sensei Mike's Work 

A Children’s on line video anti bullying 

programme – Stop Bullies Now!

 Click here to have closer look.

Super Kids - Confidence

We all want our children to be confident, some kids seem to have it, some have a little to much of it and others, well the don't seem to have any.

For those with little or none life can be difficult, Shy introverted timid children are often the first to

be bullied and so the escalation of lack of confidence to lack of self esteem begins.

So how can we give confidence to those who lack it?

I thought it might be helpful to give you my definition of confidence

As I see it, confidence is a feeling of certainty that an individual holds over the ability to cope with any given situation. So a child can feel confident (and so have peace of mind) with the family cat but be terrified in the park near dogs. I get  a child being wary of other dogs may be a desirable thing, but not terror.

Well if confidence is just a feeling of certainty, how can you get your child to feel it?



Step 1 Use their BODY

Have you ever noticed how people with a head ache stand or sit? They position their head  in a downwards position with it slightly tilted to one side with their palm across there fore head and let the muscles in their face go slack, You don't need to ask them what's wrong, you know.

If you want to get a head ache that's a great way to get one you just sit in the head ache position for a while, your body will give your brain the message and hey presto, you feel dreadful.

Well confidence has its body position too. When you stand with your shoulders back, with your head slightly elevated eyes forward and open wide, your feet shoulder width apart arms folder across your chest or even hands on hips, you know the superman position. (there's a reason he stands like that - he's portraying someone with  ultimate confidence). You can't help but start to feel confident.
Play the Superman game!



Step 2 Use their BREATH

How a child breathes at any given time determines  how they feel, in fact not breathing for a while can have serious consequences for you, like being dead, so your body and brain react extremely quickly to poor breathing patterns, how to you breathe when you are upset or crying, most people sob and take shallow weak breathes,

Your body starts to understand there is less oxygen coming in and starts to shut things down, no wonder they feel lousy. Teach you child to breathe properly, partially when they feel uncertain, it helps their physiology and that helps with confidence, You hear coaches say just take a deep breathe and go for it!



Step 3 Use their BRAIN

What stories are you telling yourself, what pictures are you putting into your head? What do you expect to happen in any given situation, what is your inner voice telling you? Do you talk to yourself in a disgraceful manner, you would never talk to anyone else that way.

You say things like "you can't do that, it could all go wrong, you're a loser". Your child may well be doing the same thing. So how you and your child control your thoughts and what you focus on is essential, and its essential for your child as well.

Now its this focus that children can struggle with, for their expectations come from their previous experience  and if they have little or no previous experience in dealing with a given situation their brain may refer back to the last time they were faced with a similar unknown challenge. If they previously met the last challenge and were positively rewarded, a new challenging situation will hold much less uncertainty than for a child whose last challenge ended in disaster, humiliation or punishment.


So can you really give your child confidence? 

Yes of course in the opposite way to which you could destroy it.

Introducing your child to incrementally increasing challenges, teaching them and showing them how to achieve those challenges and rewarding each small successes  along the way.

Introducing your child into in a positive "Can Do Atmosphere" where development through challenge is the norm.

Keeping them physically active and getting the required levels of oxygen is going to help.

Can you inspire confidence in children, Yes and its great fun.

Have a go.

More of Sensei Mike's Work 

A Children’s on line video anti bullying 

programme – Stop Bullies Now!

 Click here to have closer look.

Click here to find out more about confidence building.